This had a devastating effect on her and she came to believe that she could never love again. She looked around and saw lovers walking and holding hands, getting married and raising children and she worried about being on her own for the rest of her life. It seemed to her the door to happiness had been forever slammed shut and she became anxious and depressed.
She dreamed many dreams and in those dreams created many wonderful scenes of love and came to live in a fantasy world but she could not escape the real world. The strange thing was that the real world she imagined became gray and sad but the beautiful world she dreamed in her dream world never materialized and hope began to fade in her heart.